My readers today we have something special. This figure is in my humble opinion the new standard bearer, the new bench mark if you will. This is the figure all others will be judged against I give you…Hasbro’s Ultimate Spiderman, Miles Morales…
…Who happens to be by far the WORST figure in my collection. Yup, I said it! And I have Armada toys mind you. Never have I been so let down by a toy, and it is sad actually because he had so much potential.
For those not in the know, in the Ultimate Universe by Marvel, (Spoiler ahead) Peter Parker has died. Great story, go buy and read it. In his place another youth was bitten by a different treated spider and I am sure you can guess what happens next. Again, go read, it is good stuff. Anyway when I saw this guy in the package I loved the costume design, and I saw all the joints! I actually thought “holy crap, Hasbro is trying to make a Figuart!” And that is what kills it…because yes, he has ALMOST all the joints! Double elbows, double knees, ball joints on the hips, and ankles, even bending wrists and an abdominal crunch! The thing is though, they do it BADLY!
Here he is standing straight up. Yet his neck is stuck at that “ag-guh!” angle! The head is on a swivel, not a ball joint so he can only look side to side at a hunched position.
With the head like that, and his hands frozen in a half combat stance, this mold should have been used for Venom I think. I mean he looks more likely to want to rip my throat out instead of save me from some muggers. That or Miles ‘bout to choke a bitch…
Case in point. Is he helping poor W off the ground or is he about to do some horrible things? If you were a cop and had your gun drawn, what decision would you make?
“No wait he was just hel—“ BANG BANG BANG! yup…I thought the same…
Now the arm and knee joints are well done. I will give Hasbro that. I could really pull off some nice poses, don’t get me wrong. Having the wrists jointed as well really gives him a dynamic The detailing on the costume is cool as well. He is ripped, no doubt about it. His paint job is also cool at first glance but there were some sloppy bits on mine. The Spider symbol and cris cross bits were blurred together. Also the shoulder bits when you rotate get mis-aligned. The shoulders and hips are the real killer though. They are so tight I thought I was about to break the leg instead of getting a click. Plus they rotate freely and are hard to see, so you have to triple check to make sure you are bending at the joint instead of sideways.
But wait, he has accessories! First he does come with a display stand, much like the Avengers movie line. His feet peg in snuggly, and as of 7 hours still is standing. Also he is packaged with his trade mark web shield, and that saves this. I mean hell if he didn’t have that essential piece…wait, hold on…just got a text…”Hey Starscreamer, Miles can’t even shoot webs, his powers are invisibility and shocking his opponents-your favorite fan girl”…oh…my mistake…and don’t tell Mrs. Screamer about that text will you all? Thanks…Anyway…that shield is just something to give him I guess.
I really wanted to like this guy, but despite the copious joints, Spider-Man is stuck in this come at me bro stance. The tight joints are so bad that I wouldn’t even recommend this as a toy for its intended audience! THE WORST title was determined by potential awesomeness being over shadowed by actual fail. It’s a shame because he still does have some nice posing ability. Only if you are a hard core Spider-man fan would I suggest getting this guy.